Spring/Summer 2001, Issue #40: Balance in Living: Saying Good-bye to the Martyr in Us
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As I was coming home from school one day, my son greeted me and asked me how I was doing. I answered with my usual exhausted expression, “Tired “Yeah, you’re always tired, mom.” This had probably happened before, but this time something struck me on the head: This is how I will go into posterity, this is how I will be remembered—as a tired person! And what do tired people offer those around them? Irritation, exasperation, impatience, intolerance, moodiness, anger.
I could read the epitaph on my grave: “Herein lies an exhausted, insufferable Waldorf teacher, may she finally rest in peace!”
These reflections moved me to look for a change in my lifestyle.
As teachers we have ennobled struggle and suffering. The bigger the rings under your eyes, the larger the halo over your head. The more exhausted you feel, the better teacher you must be. Complaining becomes the underlying tone of every conversation between teachers: “It’s this time of the year, you know, never enough time to finish reports, to do evaluations, and we didn’t come out of the meeting until midnight!” Sounds like we should be giving Oscars to the most impressive martyrs in Waldorf education!