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How can we meet the different children in the kindergarten? Some children are four-years-old, some are six, and what a difference that makes! As well, even at this young age, they bring their home environments, their incarnating bodies and their individualities. We multiply that times the number of children in the class and it can indeed be a challenging task for the teacher.
Early in the year, the challenge lies in getting to know the children. As one little girl entered in with a firm step and a social smile, I thought, here is a strong, solid girl. This was confirmed a few days later when I saw her pinch the child next to her. Firmly I said her name. She looked at me surprised and burst into tears. I had spoken too firmly to her, for there was another very sensitive side that I had not yet seen. I had jumped too quickly to the conclusion of who I thought she was. I have taken that event into each school year as it starts and try to keep my thoughts of the child as open as possible. I also have a page for each child in my yearly notebook in which I write observations starting with the first day. I try to write in it at least every few weeks. It is amazing to see what I had observed the first week and then a few months later, for the picture deepens and reveals many layers as the year progresses. I have also found it invaluable in parent conferences to bring up specific incidents that might otherwise disappear in my memory. I find the ebb and flow of time in the kindergarten and the dreamy consciousness of the children creates a mood that is not conducive to observation. The recording of my observations over time awakens me to my perceptions as well as to who the child is becoming.
What about meeting the different ages? This is a whole dance in itself. How gently and tenderly we need to meet the younger children. We are like a wave to them, and sometimes we can be so overpowering. Often before they know us, even our looking at them is perceived as painful. I have come to see how sensitive they are even to my mood, which I had thought was only being experienced in my inner landscape. Several little boys were becoming more and more rambunctious in the classroom, and I felt my irritation growing. As I began to move towards them, the sensitive children began to draw back. Not all children are so sensitive, for at the other end of the spectrum, some of them are surrounded by a kind of dream aura, unaware of my movement and my mood. This has led me to being more active outwardly when I sense something is not going well so that I do not get to the point of becoming irritated, disturbing everyone's inner landscape. This has also led me inwardly to strive to be very peaceful and calm in the classroom so that I am perceived by the sensitive children as a safe and easy energy to be around.
What a joy it is to have a child for a second year. The foundation of understanding and trust has already begun. They love to return to the rhythm of the kindergarten and help the new children find their way through the day. With these children, there is an opportunity to go deeper in the relationship. A group of three boys comes to mind concerning this. The first year, they came in already knowing each other, and paying attention to the teacher was not a skill that was in place. They initially would not let any other new children play with them and rudely turned them away. I tried drawing one of the group out by helping me with a task but met with little long-term success because the call of the pack was so strong. I suggested to the parents to have play dates with the new children, which was nice, but did not change the dynamic when the three were together in the class. They all had summer birthdays and were five-years-old before starting their first year. I finally decided that they needed a vacation* from each other for a while. At first, they were at a loss of what to do, but, before long, they each began to find new friends. A new lightness came into each of the boys.
After about a month, they asked if they could play together. I said they could if they included the other children. What a difference it made to the whole class dynamic, for they became much more joyful and inclusive. When they retuned for their second year, they welcomed the new children, both older and younger, and the mood of inclusiveness and acceptance carried through the year.
As the child becomes six-years-old, a new dynamic can appear. Instead of the adult (parent or teacher) being the center of his world, which is a lovely characteristic of the five-year-old, the child becomes the center of his world. New capacities of inner awareness in imaginations, memory and feelings are developing. Out of this, play becomes more planned. Often they don't even need to play but would rather sit and talk.This time is often referred to as the adolescence of childhood for the teenager also often considers himself the center of the world and has a strong inner life. With this shift, there can begin a challenging of the teacher in subtle ways. Indeed, this is the beginning of the consciousness change when, instead of learning through imitation, the child learns through the loving authority of the teacher. This is usually a tumultuous time at home as well, and the phrase, "You're not the boss of me!" echoes around them. We need to meet them with a different gesture. The same child who, a year earlier, was an eager helper now doesn't want to help at all. This is the time for loving firmness and the gentle but firm words, "You may help."
The child at six is much more awakened to his or her feelings and identifies with them in a new way. Sympathy and antipathy become more pronounced. I have found one of the tasks with these children is to help them begin to do things that they do not want to do. We all have this as part of our life task that returns again and again to us. It has shown itself earlier in the child at two, but at that point is more related to the will. We can help them overcome their antipathy with our warmth and enthusiasm. As we enter into the activity, from washing dishes or cleaning up the outside toys, we bring joy into our mood and movements. Often this is enough to help them, for they are still under the mantle of imitation as well.
Perhaps they need some one-on-one time to help them enter into activity. Our love and attention is healing. This time, one-on-one, may also reveal a challenge that they are having with an activity. One six-year-old girl was not drawn into our enthusiastic activity of jumping rope outside. For a while, I let it be, but then, one day, said, "All the six-year-olds get to practice now." How self-consciously she tried, for it was not easy for her to get off the ground, even though she was tiny. What a wonderful teaching moment it was as we all watched her try, and I consistently told her how well she was doing. There was an unkind comment from one of the skilled children, and another teaching opportunity presented itself as I reminded everyone how hard it was when they were first learning, and how we have to help each other as we practice. The tiny six-yearold took it to heart and every day wanted to practice. We all happily followed her progress.
Kindergarten teaching requires a great mobility of soul. With each child, as we turn our attention on them, we need to change our inner tone or landscape. One child needs to sense a quiet valley for their soul. Another child needs a warming fire with which to be close. Another child longs for a clear fence that holds their boundless energy. It is through deepening our understanding of child development and by practicing both our outer observation and our inner calm that we can sense what the child needs and reflect it.
Barbara Klocek has been a kindergarten teacher at the Sacramento Waldorf School in California for many years.
* Author's Notes: The three boys stayed in the same class. I told them that they were given a vacation from each other so that they could make new friends. For several weeks they couldn't play together. For a day or two they were a little at a loss but soon began to have new friends and enjoyed their play in a new way. Then when they were able to play again, they were inclusive of these friends. I have done this also with social relationships where I thought the children could not resolve the issues on their own. We had two very strong, choleric girls who were draw together and had wonderful times. However, sometimes they would get in a pattern when they were only able to quarrel with each other. With a vacation time, they could relax, relate to other children, and come back to each other in a different gesture.
I see the vacation as a opportunity for the child to be allowed time away from a difficult or unhealthy relationship. This allows a breathing in relationships that I have found that children are not always able to do on their own. I try to bring it in a very calm, matter of fact way and use it to help them expand their social skills without judgment.